I struggled to find my way through life, being understood seemed impossible, and knowing I couldn’t shake this year after year was crippling UNTIL I surrendered to a higher power, found my self-worth, and allowed my gifts to come through.
Years of commitment issues.
Things about me that I kept hidden; my obsession with Sylvia Browne, John Edwards, the show Ghost Whisperer, my years of depression, being highly sensitive in a non-sensitive household, and feeling strong energy pulls and spirits but ignoring them. I never felt like I was in the right space to be myself and this led to years of commitment issues surrounding education, relationships, and career. I had such a lack of direction, tools, and people in my life who could help me which would lead me down several wrong paths for years. Later I realized this was heavily based on not yet identifying as an Empath.
No amount of confidence will help with self-love or feeling worthy.
In my late 20s to my early 30s, my confidence was changing my life significantly. This was with the help of an amazing therapist, an older man I was dating, and the end of my lengthy college career. Although I was enjoying my newfound confidence, it would negatively trigger a lot of people in my life and no amount of confidence will help with self-love or feeling worthy and this is where lots of my issues would be for years to come. I do remember having positive conversations about religion and feeling pulled toward spirituality for the first time in my life.
I was aware and starting to be in control of my happiness for the first time.
During a walk with my dog, Bella Mia, I looked up to the sun and whispered, “If you’re out and shining your light on me I will find happiness in that.” This did wonders for me being in control of my happiness for the first time. I knew this was the beginning of self-discovery and I could be in control if I choose to be. Later I would realize as an Empath, nature is super important and called Earthing.
I was being followed around by a spirit.
Bella Mia and I scored a well-paying pet-sitting job and I couldn't have been more excited for the opportunity. But during the meet and greet, a spirit was following me around and informing me how this was going to end. This was my first experience with a strong unknown spirit showing me the outcome of something before it happened. Although I was scared to death, it was not trying to scare me but to protect me.
But my whole career I felt like I was the supporting actor in someone else's life.
My 30s consisted of getting a job, keeping the job and not getting fired from the job. But to add to my life I was starting to feel everyone's energy and it was a full-time job for me now. Although I tried to "stay in my lane" I would involve myself in situations to try to help but would only backfire. Without knowing that I was an Empath, yet, I was a receptacle of everyone's "stuff", it was depleting my energy and it wasn't allowing me to be at my highest potential. At the end of every job, I would look back to try to understand what happened, and every time it seemed I would be there for someone else's benefit. (I was even a matchmaker for my cousin with someone I worked with for only 6 months, then I was let go!) I felt like I was the supporting actor in someone else's life.
The Universe insists I stop the events entirely and "go home".
Growing up I dreamed of having my own children's clothing store which then turned into a men's clothing store (30 years later) but support and money were non-existent. Instead, I started a wardrobe styling business, The Closet Rescue. At first as a side hustle with hopes of it becoming full-time. I loved conceptualizing the business and was able to finally put all my confidence and gifts to use. As the years went on, I would feel slightly out of alignment but couldn't put my finger on it. While I was putting all my energy in events and my clients, the company started to feel like it wasn't working and serving me anymore. Then the Universe started insisting I stop putting my energy into this and "go home", with this my anxiety would go into overdrive. But since I felt like there was no other choice, I listened. Deciding to end TCR would come very slowly but it also brought me into changing my website to my name as well as a huge step towards my self-discovery and life's purpose. When one door closes, another door always opens.
I started to talk to God.
In 2013, two years before my Grandma/best friend passed away, for the first time in my life I started to talk to God. Maybe it was all the shows I watched or something I read but I knew that spirits won't just appear, you have to be somewhat ready and not scared if they do come. I wanted to receive her as a spirit and be at peace with her passing. I didn't see any other way. February 2015, two nights before she passed away I was able to tell her to go to heaven and she would be welcomed with open arms. The night before her funeral as I was falling asleep she patted my head and she came back several times after that. I even felt her leave to begin her travels with other family members. While driving to my sister's house I asked her, "Do you visit Dara?" And she filled the car with the most beautiful rose scents. That was a YES. She also sends me pennies when I need them.
The Universe said, "Start a pet care company."
In one year exactly, 2017-2018, I lost 4 jobs, 2 dogs, and my 15-year-old dog and I became ill. This was my low and I could feel God/Universe screaming at me to wake up but I was too scared to listen. I created these suicidal thoughts as my head would pulse, making it feel like the thoughts were getting stronger. One day, I had a panic attack and knew it was time to seek professional help so I called a local therapist. She guided me through my past life/career experiences and showed me how resilient I've been and why I should be proud of myself and ultimately gave me the confidence I needed to go on. And on New Year's Day I sat on my couch and surrendered to God/Universe and asked "What now?" and I heard "Start a pet care company." Mind. Blown. Since I was in my third year of rescuing senior dogs, which I was confident was my life's purpose and knew this was the answer. To be on top of my game, I decided to be certified in Pet CPR & First Aid. I found someone in NYC so signed up immediately. While traveling on the train, I started to have yet another panic attack. Before I could ask someone for their seat, I asked myself, "Are these my feelings?" They immediately stopped and the man next to me fell to the ground. I knew in that moment, I was there for a reason, to be given this experience to know life will never be the same again and this "career" will not just be about pet sitting. And to admit to myself, this is just the beginning, and get ready!